It’s official- I can’t count on two hands how many weeks I’ve been training! After wrapping up Week 11 I have been training for 75 days…WOW. That’s a crap ton of time dedicated to accomplishing a goal. I’m the WORST at committing to doing something… but it’s actually happening. I’m really doing this!!
THANK GOODNESS this week was migraine free! I don’t know what I would have done with myself if it was another week like last week. After you finish reading this post go back and read “When I finally found closure” if you haven’t already. During training this week I was heavily carrying 9 years worth of pain that I had buried deep within in me in order to avoid it. I don’t want to go too deep into the subject since I’ve already wrote a very detailed post on it. But what I will talk about it how that pain came into play during my training this week. You know that feeling where something feels off but you can’t find the root of why? That’s how I felt all week. My heart felt heavy and it’s as if I was just stuck in the clouds. Deep down my body knew why I was off but I refused to acknowledge it. My runs this week were actually pretty good! Running is honestly the best outlet in my life. It’s like it doesn’t matter what’s going on in life-I can get into my zone during a run and for that short time I feel free. Free of stresses and away from all of the chaos. It’s just me and the treadmill bonding. That may sound weird but that’s the only way that I can explain it.
I have got into the routine of sitting down on the weekends and planning out the next week. When I do it I schedule in: my Transform:20 workout, run, work schedule, any social media posts I need to make, social events….and the list goes on. This is the only way I’ve found that helps me to not forget things and ensure that I accomplish my goals. I have recently also started putting little boxes next to things so I can check it off once it’s completed-feels much more rewarding. I also cross out things that don’t get done. This helps me to find my balance. If I plan a day with too much in it I can look back to see that and am able to adjust my future weeks’ planning accordingly. Plus it helps when I go to write my blog posts to reference things like my runs(: This week I only had to cross out 1 run-which is pretty good!
During the week I was able to get in two solid shorter runs. My shorter runs can sometimes be more of a challenge than my longer runs- I know that sounds crazy. For me getting into my runners groove typically takes about 3 miles. Those first 3 miles I can get bored very easily which is then hard for me to lock in my focus. Not that it doesn’t physically challenge but when I am able to “get lost” and basically zone out is when I can tap into my mental strength. At the gym I strategically have to find the perfect spot. Which is the front row so I can look out the big open windows and with the TV in front of me on ESPN. I have never ever been the person who really gets into watching games on TV. But in the morning ESPN replays all the highlights from the previous nights’ games. Watching the basketball replays are my all time fav! The look on a players face after a break away dunk or that huge game changer 3 pointer and the crowd going wild…is super motivating! Now the the minute they show a boxing replay with some guy covered in blood I have to look away and revert to my routine “day dreams” to distract myself.
This weekend I knew that I had to have a successful big run. Not to just stay on track with my training but to prove to myself that I was capable of overcoming my obstacles. My cousin had recently quit a toxic job and I am so stinkin proud of her! When I saw it on FB I immediately reached out to her and told her we must celebrate. Saturday I was scheduled to work at my part-time job for a good chunk of the day so I knew I was going to have to do my run on Sunday. I also had made plans with my cousin to go get our nails done Sunday and go out for Mexican. I know what you’re thinking-how in the heck was I going to fit everything in!? First thing I did was do the Math on how long I would need to be at the gym including stretching, shower, and my run..plus drive time. After that I was able to give my cousin an accurate time of when we could meet up. Saturday night I set out literally everything I needed and had my gym bad packed an ready to go! What I didn’t prepare for was over sleeping. I overslept by about 30 minutes..which doesn’t seem like much but when you’re on a strict time frame it seems like a lifetime. I knew the moment I allowed myself to get stressed I would completely mess up my mental game for my run. My run was first priority. If I was late for our girls day it wouldn’t be the end of the world. But I also didn’t want to be disrespectful to my cousin because I believe time is valuable and I didn’t want her waiting around for me. I did my best to push through and go through my regular routines.
That something that had been off all week was weighing hard on me though. I overslept because I was up all night. I woke up with that pain still weighing down on me. Once I got to the gym and was stretching it all hit me smack in the face. My normal running playlist wasn’t getting me motivated. I switched over to my go to playlist when I’m feeling anxious. I wish I could remember what song it was that came on and triggered the emotions. (Referencing that previous blog post about finding closure)- But I stepped on that treadmill and did my run anyways. I knew I was running behind and that there was no way 9 miles was happening. But I told myself you are going to stay on this treadmill for said amount of time and going to make the most of it! It was a beautiful day out and looking out into the sky is when he spoke to. Those 8 miles were the most precious miles I have ever run. April 17, 2019 will always hold a very special place in my heart. What I want to tell you from a runners standpoint is this- your journey is not just about putting in your miles. It’s about the experience. It is about finding yourself in ways that you could have never imagined.
I’m so blessed to be in this season of life. Everyday I find a reason to be thankful for this journey. I am so happy that one day when I look back on my training I’ll be able to say not only did I finally complete something but I fell in love with the person who I have become. I hope you are having a wonderful Monday! Thank you for stopping by!